Friday, April 21, 2006

Canadian customs, and a list thereof.

You know, I discovered a few things really quickly when I arrived in Vancouver.
Not only do the people often attatch "ey?" to the end of sentences, but there are also hundreds of little things which one should really be informed of before arriving.
I personally feel that a law should be imposed forcing all foreigners to read and sign a form which outlines all local and national customs before landing here.. At least the main ones.. Cause it would just be handy to know ey?
Anyway, so in an attempt to lift awareness and promote understanding, here's my list of things you should know before arriving in CA. Presented by David Attenborogh in association with the BBC..

1. Do take your shoes off when entering someone's house. It's basically an unwritten and unspoken law, but it's seriously uncool to keep your shoes on when you go into someone's place..

2. Tip. By the Beard of Zeus, tip at restaurants, cafes, laundromats, anywhere.. (As mentioned in: Keep the Five below.) Not only is it bad karma to not tip, but you will be cast out of most establishments, stoned, and most likely not allowed back if you neglect to do this.. 10% is normal, and 15% is for good service, or when you have spare poo-change*.

3. Selectively put "ey?" at the end of sentances. Not only will you sound more suave, but you are guaranteed to fit in better. That's right, your social status will indeed be elevated by including this simple grammatical oddity in many cases. (Warning, misuse may cause mocking, jeering, and exclusion from groups.)

4. For the love of god don't badmouth hockey. You just really don't want to do that. If someone asks you what you thought about Vancouver losing 2-4 to Calgary, frown, frown deep and say that you're disappointed but you know Vancouver will come back strong.. (If it's the finals, say they'll come back strong next year..) Or that they just need to make a few adjustments to their lineup..

5. Finally, for Australians. When traveling to Canada, please B.Y.O Vegemite and Milo.. Kraft have stopped production of Vegemite over here, and the Milo is a truly terrible gastronomical experience compared to Aussie Milo.. It's like.. just.. not right..

So that's that! I'm sure there's more, but to tell the truth, I had a big night last night and I can't be bothered writing any more, so I'm going to put a couple of pictures up, and sign off.

Firstly, a picture I found most intriguing. A packet of wasabi peas.. Nothing unusual about that I suppose, but look closer.. (To look closer click on the image).
The package reads: 'A Happy Present From The Earth'
Indeed?
How happy is this present? Is the Earth really responsible for the vacuum-sealed metallic plastic packaging these culinary delights are packaged within? Surely not.. I believe misleading and questionable statements like these should definitely be subject to review from someone more likely to place useful, and truthful statements upon packages such as this.. Someone with the wisdom of Buddha, the compassion of Ghandi, and the courage of.. uh.. Lassie.. Wow.. I could be onto something..

Cheers all!

Jimzip :D


* A small amount of undesirable change a person may carry, usually so small in value that cannot be usefully utilised when purchasing goods.

3 thoughts are now mine:

Tim Mck said...

... Just firstly, whoever came up with the concept for wasabi peas should be put inside a gigantic bin with every exaple of his.. product, and heated to 5000 degrees celcius. Along with the recipe.

warwick said...

Ha ha, that blog was funny! I'm bored. What is happening on April 30? I really really want to know!

Jimzip said...

Tim: Nevair! Wasabi peas are a true delicacy.. A manufactured delicacy, but nonetheless.. Oh, and I'm currently reading a series you may be interested in. I'll send ye an e-mail.

Warwick: Why thank you! And I'm working on it!! Oh, and didn't Tim's comment above sound like a dear Loise note? :)

Jimzip :D



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