Saturday, September 15, 2007

Ready, steady, pass-out!

So yesterday, I found myself once again in the protective wings of the BC Medical System. I had to go in for a checkup to make sure the lung isn't going to make a comeback like so many cheesy Hollywood villains. You know the scene, right when you're about to deliver that snappy one-liner in front of guests at a formal dinner setting, Baron Von Lung-Puncture smashes through the stained-glass windows and with a curteous bow, steals the show with a verbatim recitation of Les Miserables... or something to that effect. The point is, I just don't want it to come back. That entails a trip to the good Dr.
The problem isn't when your new doctor wants all your details, or wants you to sign a couple of forms, or wants you to ruin your hair by taking your shirt off. No no, the problem is when said doctor requests a blood test - oh yes.
I'm not good with blood tests. I have what some friends affectionately refer to as "lame-ass stupid... guy... that doesn't like blood tests and needles" syndrome. (yes that's the one..)

Anyway, I decided with some consideration, that today I wanted to change that. When I walked into the lab, I walked in with confidence, and a 'who gives a fig' attitude, surely the way to do it.

I sat there as the nurse put the needle in, and didn't wince (much) as she set the first vial of blood on the desk next to me. Or the second. Or the third.
I just kept looking out the window.

When it was done and the nurse took the samples away, I stayed in the chair, holding that little bit of cotton wool & telling myself "Hey now, that wasn't so bad at all was it. Yeah. That was fine, you feel fine, you look fine! Nice one! ... What's this weird feel-"

"JAMES."

"-up James.. Ok.. that's better, sit up, look at me."

I opened my eyes to see two nurses fanning me, not slowly, like sultan-on-a-large-pillow style, more like 'this shmuck just fainted' style - which is rapidly.
Wow.. I've never passed out before. It feels much worse than it looks really. First you're freezing, then you're hot, then you've got pins and needles, then you're thinking you're not going back to work that afternoon, wondering if Lost is coming back in December or January, and what the migration route of the Alaskan moose is.. It's a whirlpool of emotion.

Anyway, half an hour or so of sitting on a chair sipping apple-juice will fix it up. I left the place, got lunch and went home. One day I hope to be rid of this fear of needles. I encourage all of you out there who have passed out (not from alcohol.. there's a special site for that) to tell of your experience/s in the comments. I don't have brownie points, but it'll be darn entertaining anyway!
Anyway, Dave's coming on Monday and I needs to clean up my bedroom, which friends [see above] have affectionately labeled: "Little Dresden".
Peace all!

Jimzip :D

4 thoughts are now mine:

Luke said...

Sorry to hear about the fainting. But look at it this way... it made for an hilarious blog. :) Baron Von Lung-Puncture is sure fire entertainment. But yes, let's hope he's gone for good this time.

(First time I had blood taken I got all dizzy and light headed, but every time since I've been fine. So maybe your body adjusts to it. Can only hope!)

Oh and Dave might be there by the time you read this! You'll have to give him a hug from me. And then tell him to give you a hug from me too. Yep, I'm hug happy.

Anonymous said...

I was one of those very strange kids that wanted to stare at the needle going into my arm. I grew up to become a dentist...go figure.

Great blog, James--I love the way you write! :)

Cheers,
P.

Alison said...

Ok, so I shamefully haven’t read your blog for a little while, this becoming quite obvious when I am commenting on your previous entry, but whatever!
I can seriously relate to you on the fainting from needles, it is awful, much worse than the drunken passing out that you mentioned! Ha ha.
After my last tetnus jab, I was in the waiting room and felt that dreadful feeling wash over me, the room spun and next thing I was on the floor with my mother over me. I had apparently fainted backwards stiff, bashing my head on the tiles and the resultant concussion soon followed. Cutting it short I was at the local hospital an hour later after an ambulance ride that I wasn’t able to enjoy! Mum later admitted that she thought I had died, as apparently my eyes were open, gross!
And… that wasn’t even in the vein! You can imagine how I cope with that! Ha ha.

So Jimmy, I greatly sympathise with your affliction and as a follow sufferer offer all my moral support I can over the internet ha ha. I hope you are well on the mend, and you give yourself some time amongst all your work!

Take Care, can’t wait until you (and Laura) get back on our shores!

Love Ali ox

Alison said...

Haha forgot to mention that the next morning, Mum, being my Mother, made me go to school to have school photos..

I look decidedly average in those ones haha!



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